101 Bikram Yoga Challenge

whooohooo day 70!!!

2010-03-11T22:47:00.000-05:00

31 days to go. Haven't missed a day since the *blizzard* day! Love having zero distractions and 100% focus on me! :)

Anticipation in the practice.

2010-03-08T19:29:00.000-05:00

When you anxiously anticipate a postures movement before the command you are practicing more from a place of ego & fear than from a place of present attention, devotion & trust.
When practicing this way the brain immediately reflex on all the mental chatter you associate with, when engaging the execution of the posture.
The discomfort, difficulty, mental competition, judgment of yourself & everyone else in the room & anxiousness to get out of the posture, begin to flood the mind, consequently distorting your focus, changing your breathing pattern, heart rate, & weakening the mind body connection in the posture.
Causing you to mentally and physically fatigue yourself too quickly & fall short of going beyond your fullest potential in the posture.
Each posture is eternal in nature just like the rhythm of your breath. When your mind & intention are in the present moment, with complete trust to surrender all fear, doubt & discomfort, then you’ll truly find that mind, body & spirit connection to further evolve in your practice.
That understanding is what turns Bikram Yoga from an intense physical discipline to a deep mediation.

Jeff Chartos 03/10

Day 63

2010-03-04T23:59:00.000-05:00

It's almost midnight..so tired. I've had to take the late class for most of the week so I'm a little off on my routine. I feel very swollen in my fingers and toes and ankles. Is it water retention? I've determined that I consume about 2 1/2 gallons of water a day, but probably sweating and peeing most of it out. I've also noticed that all of the color just gets sucked out of my face and I look very colorless and tired in the face. Is anyone else experiencing this? I am eating a lot of whole foods and also taking a multi, fish oil, and probiotics. Maybe I'm a little anemic?? How much sleep should I be getting if I'm practicing everyday?

My balance is off this week especially in awkward pose. Other than that I feel very strong, swollen, but strong.

Day 54 but who's counting?

2010-02-23T22:51:00.001-05:00

A fellow yogi told me to try not to pay attention to the number of days, however, since this is my first challenge it's hard not to focus on each passing day. Today for example, I felt extremely fatigued at the end of my work day. Although instead of thinking negatively I focused on how much energy I would gain after pranayama breathing and sure enough my fatigue was gone by half moon. I will admit that my body is definitely starting to feel worked, in a good way, I feel different than I did 30 days ago.

My Chiropractor put together an advanced workshop for us tonight at his office. I took notes and feel compelled to share some of the information that was discussed with everyone who is taking the time to read my (now every other day or 2 or 3) blog. Thanks by the way for your wonderful comments!

So basically he started by referring to the book Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell and how trends are started, like the $15 dollar Elmo doll that gained so much popularity that it became like a virus and soon enough everyone in the country had to have one and then they were like $500 and you could only get them on Ebay. Basically in order to cause a "tipping point" when it comes to your health you must effect the beliefs one has. Our society in general (not you all reading this :) but the majority of our population) believes that when it comes to health being impacted in a negative way it is because of bad germs, bad genes, and bad luck. Genes absolutely play a role in you health, however, each gene has an epi gene which is basically your environment and how you think. So you do have control over how your genes can affect you. The scary truth is for the most part we are in control of our own health.

9 billion dollars each year is spent on Lipitor which is a cholesterol medicine and just one type of cholesterol medicine at that! Our pharmaceutical industry is out of control. Of course there are wonderful, lifesaving medicines out there, but c'mon we all know that drugs, prescribed drugs, are a problem in our society. And the problem is that most of these users are reactive when it comes to their health. Did you know that your body is born with everything we need to stay healthy? The best medicine cabinet in the world is located inside of you! So what controls our health? Well, we must understand how the body works. Our nervous system controls and coordinates the function of every cell, tissue and organ in our body. Our motor nerves, our autonomic nerves, and our sensory nerves controls the function of our body. Unhealthy neurologic patterns interfere with the body's ability to express itself from the three types of lifestyle stress which are physical, emotional, and chemical stress.

Physical stress from poor posture, car accidents, sport injuries, sleeping, back packs...You can do things everyday to help your spine such as, keeping your head parallel with the bed, doing planks, hanging your head off of your bed, and wearing orthodics.

Chemicals stress from foods and things we ingest. Live foods are always better for you like fruits and vegetables and anything closer to the earth. Meats like steak are already dead, you are eating dead food when you eat meat. Fast food is NEVER okay, not even once in a while. Did you know that they actually have to inject vegetables like carrots with flavoring at fast food restaurants. They are all filled with chemicals and pesticides. And then there is the diet coke myth. Chemicals found in artificial sweeteners contain neuro-toxins which kills neurotransmitters in your brain. They did a study where they replaced 8 diet cokes with regular cokes and every single person in the study lost weight and it's because we DON'T know what artificial sweeteners do to our body. So if you must drink coke, drink regular coke. Supplements are important, and the cheaper they are the worse they are for you. There are three supplements that EVERYONE should be taking DAILY: Fish oil, probiotics from the fridge not the shelf, and a multi-vitamin. Also eating the foods you should ingest according to your blood type.

Emotional stress like anxiety, stress, and nervousness effect our immune system, our adrenal glands, our thyroids, and can lead to depression. *Neurotransmitter:Norepinephrine- If norepinephrine levels stay high or spike, a person feels irritability, fear, anxiety, and even panic. So high norepinephrine can bring on the symptoms of a panic attack--which seemingly come out of the blue. Our heartbeat speeds up, our skin constricts, blood pressure increases, we're breathless and dizzy, and our digestive system shuts down. We can even have visual disturbances. *Lack of REM sleep can have disastrous longterm consequences on mood and our whole body, even leading to fibromyalgia- which is just a fancy word for PAIN. You can release your emotions through exercise, meditation, conscious awareness, reading before bed, talking to animals, reading to somebody else such as your child, and just by having FUN!!! Do you know the average 4 year old laughs about 400 times a day! Guess how much the average adult laughs a day?....15!!!! We need to have more fun!!!

We have control over so much of what our body does!!

Can barely keep my eyes open, hope this was informative, I certainly enjoyed the workshop! Namaste.

Day 52

2010-02-21T16:26:00.000-05:00

What an amazing weekend filled with yoga! Esak Garcia was in town yesterday and I attended his posture clinic seminar. He began with a 90 min class which wasn't exactly so much fun because I ate too soon before class. The workshop was from 10-4 so I decided to eat a little more than usual for lasting energy. HUGE MISTAKE! I definitely paid for it in class. It was the worst "water-logged" feeling I've ever experienced. Aside from my bloat, his class was GREAT! After class, he had his wife demonstrate the 26 asanas (she placed 2nd internationally at the recent championship). This was a good opportunity for people to ask questions about the postures. He went into great detail about some of the postures and taught us fun activities to improve certain postures. He and his wife are incredible to watch! So is their infant son Osiris! :)

In today's class I implemented all of my new found knowledge about the postures and had a strong class!

day 48

2010-02-17T20:41:00.000-05:00

Well kids we are almost half way through this yoga challenge. This challenge feels more like a routine than a challenge. I've made up my mind that I must practice everyday, unless of course mounds of snow keep me from driving and studios from opening. Rumor has it that we are getting 8-10 inches this coming Sunday and Monday! Ahhh!!! Practicing yoga everyday, seeing the chiropractor 3x a week, and getting massages at the spa makes my body feel amazing! I am so grateful for all of the abundance in my life. :)

Tonight in class my body experienced unusual sensations. First I started getting this arthritis type pain in my left fingers, right along the second knuckles. I have no idea where this came from and if it will be back, but it was extremely distracting. Also, after the second set of balancing stick, I felt an intense rush of dizziness which I've never experienced before. I know it's normal to have these sensations with some postures, this was new to me and made me feel uncomfortable.

Today is Ash Wednesday. Although I am no longer Catholic, I feel inspired to participate in lent. I like the discipline involved and it's fun knowing that other people are on board. I haven't decided what it is that I want to give up or add to my life over the next 40 days. My friend Reggie suggested that I add something of value to my life like more yoga, and I like that idea. Perhaps I will practice Kundalini yoga following my Bikram class, or download some meditations online and practice for an hour everyday. I thought about x'ing sweets, or at least honey from being added to my tea and oatmeal. I'm at a loss! If you have any suggestions, I would be glad to hear them. I must decide quickly as today is the first day of lent.

Did anyone else notice all of the events that took place this week.. Valentine's Day, Chinese New Year, President's Day, Mardi Gras, Ash Wednesday, my sister's birthday..hehe.

Positive energy

2010-02-11T21:01:00.000-05:00

Good energy filling me up. Getting my thoughts clear for my next blog. Today's class kicked my ass!!!! It was brutal! Moving forward and letting go, two of my favorite mantras! Namaste!

missed a day of Bikram.

2010-02-09T14:45:00.000-05:00

Mother nature dumped about 3 ft. of snow on us over the weekend! This totally impeded my yoga challenge for a day. Driving was impossible and yoga studios were closed! I practiced on my own in a bathroom after running the shower for the humidity and heat. Of course it is not the same! At least my body went through the motions. I practiced late Thurs. night, early Friday morning, and my next Bikram class wasn't until Sunday evening. That is the longest my body has went without a Bikram class in about 45 days.

I think it was probably a blessing in disguise because my Chiropractor told me on Friday that I should probably take a day to rest my lower spine.

pheewwww!

2010-02-03T16:14:00.001-05:00

What a class today! Great energy! It took all I had in me not to leave the room to find reprieve from the heat. I worked hard and kept repeating the mantra "this is only temporary!" I love these types of classes because it proves to me that I am in control. As I discussed in my last post. Today was a snow day and my first day off in weeks. I took a noon class and then had an amazing adjustment. Feeling great, trying to get a massage later this evening to top it off! The great thing is that I'm finished with my day and it's only 4 pm!! Whoohoo...I love days like these!

one more thing!

2010-02-03T00:16:00.000-05:00

I just need to reiterate how very proud of myself I am! My body has not missed one day of Bikram yoga in 33 days!!! And even before the challenge started I practiced for 6 consecutive days. Maybe I'll just keep going after this challenge is over. No need to stop! 365 anyone? Okay not trying to be fanatical but it just may happen, why not? :) NAMASTE

SATYA (truth).

Day 33

2010-02-03T00:09:00.000-05:00

There are calluses on my fingers, my feet, my ankles... they hurt! Everyday the same spots are irritated all over again. The callus on my middle finger is the worst because the skin is completely worn off. OUCH :( Despite my yoga wounds, I feel incredibly alive. All of my senses are heightened and I am so open. Not just physically open but open in receiving everything and everyone around me. It's like being tuned in on a different frequency. Like before I was only coming in on am/fm and now I'm on satellite or HD radio. :) truly amazing experience so far!

In class I'm working on keeping my chest lifted to the ceiling in backward bending and camel. Where as before I was collapsing into my posture, this way allows me to open and feel more 360 degrees stretching! Focusing also on contracting my hip adductors and pushing the ball of my foot into the ground as I put my weight into my heels in backward bending. Very well aware that my toes are not touching as I'm looking back, going back, way way back. This is NOT so easy to do!

Still working on stillness which is the toughest part of my yoga practice. Avoiding the temptation to wiggle or wipe sweat. When I achieve stillness in between postures, it proves to me that I am in control of my mind, not my mind controlling me... "Until the mind is under your control, you are at it's mercy." "The mind is your best friend, or your worst enemy.".. Achieving stillness between postures for the full 90 min is work in progress for me. My life has already taken on an entirely different quality just from practicing stillness. If I ever master stillness fully, I don't think it would be possible to react, get angry or upset. Just accept, be still, breathe! Everything I learn each day is carried out with me into the world. As Ghandi said, "be the change you want to see in the world."

"Two very important words in the English language--want and need. If you don't give the body exactly what it needs, all the wants in the world mean nothing." ~ Bikram Choudhury

Day 31

2010-01-31T22:58:00.000-05:00

Well it's the last day of January and I just completed 31 days a few hours ago! Yes I am still going strong! Yesterday was a huge milestone at day 30. My first 30 days completed! Like I said before, I attempted a 30 day challenge once and only made it to day 11. Extremely proud that I have already made it this far! Reality has been setting in this week. The excitement of the 101 days has dwindled as my life responsibilities have increased and this challenge is really starting to be a challenge. I have worked 7 days a week for the past two weeks. My life and this yoga has been hand in hand. There is no way I would be able to work 7 days a week without practicing 7 days a week. The yoga has been giving me the energy I need to keep going and going and going. Just like the energizer bunny! Phew I will admit that I am so looking forward to a day off. Not from yoga but from working! And a social life? I just figure that will come later. I am so cool just doing my thing, taking each day as it comes, and answering to nobody but myself. Keep on keeping on!!!!!

2010-01-27T21:42:00.000-05:00

Girl talk

2010-01-27T20:33:00.001-05:00

Okay just to forewarn any males who might be reading this, I am including womanly stuff in this blog and do not think this topic will interest you...

Today is day 27 and the most yoga I've ever completed in a row. Only 3 more days to day 30! I can't believe how quickly this month has gone by. Since the challenge began, I've been paying close attention to every little change and occurrence in my body. Back in October I was informed by some colleagues about the dangers of the birth control pill I was on. Without consulting with my doctor first, I took myself off of the pill as I let fear take a hold of me. They informed me that this particular pill caused blood clots and other reproductive problems and because my best friend from high school passed away over the summer from blood clots, I was scared. I also believed at the time that the pill caused another cyst to form in my left breast. So I took myself off of birth control the week before the Marine Corps Marathon.

The first menstrual cycle I had after being off of the pill was tough. My cramps were horrible! I had been on the pill for 10 years and my body was re-balancing all of my hormones. The second one in December was even tougher! I seriously debated going back on the pill. I even consulted with my gynecologist who informed me that being on the pill was actually better for my mood and that it reduces the risk of uterine and cervical cancer by up to 40%. I love that, but the fact is my mood is so much better off of the pill! The downside: horrible cramps and a significant decrease in my breasts. My sister could not believe how much smaller I was when she saw me over Christmas.

After my December period, I started practicing consecutively. Although this challenge began on Jan. 1st. I've actually been going consecutively for 2 weeks prior to the start. The point of all this is that I started my period today without any indications that it was coming. Usually I have a couple days of cramping and I have an idea when it is coming. NOPE..big surprise today! So I love that my body is just going with the flow (no pun intended). Thankful for a handout from my wonderful coworker :) hahaha dear lord, yes I just wrote that!

About an hour after I was aware of my period the cramping started and it was insane! Thank goodness I had a chiropractor appt. My doctors are so wonderful and so smart. After he adjusted my spine, she was able to release some trigger points that caused cramping and helped re-tilt my uterus to relieve the pain. AMAZING!

Today was truly a challenge getting to class. I debated on going home to rest hoping to feel better for the night class. Instead, I drove right to the studio and sucked it up. Surprisingly, my body was open and stretching relieved my cramping all together! Just did it without a thought!

found this by Kellie Brandt-Paroginog

2010-01-24T21:55:00.000-05:00

It happened suddenly! I saw water, went from empty to flooding.
Drowning in my sanity, ego mind dread locking vanity.
Repeat, rewind, the inside world exposed, elastic lungs breathe, expand helping the inside world survive and withhold.
Bones to the skin. Skin soft, smooth, pale, extra baggage, lines under my eyes reading stories to tell.
The night like a blur... emotions giving birth to a storm. I'm fanatic, where is the weatherman? Where is my sun?
A warm room, sunrays shining down, cover my skin, heat my spirit.
Enter my blind 2 eyes, awaken my 3rd eye, elevate my mind beyond this emotionless time. Dance with my thoughts, tango with my heart, travel the labyrinth maze, realizing the end is the same as the start.
There is nothing to search or find. It's beneath me, within me, being wide-eyed alive. I’ve retired from fantasy, stopped chasing false dreams and realities. Fantasy is what we want, reality is what we need. Reality right now presented to me like a gift unseen.
I continue dreaming, ride stars, visit planets and dance half moon in warm summer June.
Create poetry in motion, paint the world rainbow colors, I'm unleashed locomoting. Graffiti this planet with my spirits potion, so there is no need for preconceived notions.
Save lives through infinite lessons, recognizing true blessings.
Live life ocean deep, swallow tides of honesty, tatoo my spirit to my tongue, exhale words of truth and perform music created by innocent youth.
Resembling Buddha’s gong, I seem to be intrigued and follow that song.
105 degree room, my 2 eyes focused and zoom in tune with my inner cocoon.
Give birth to angel butterflies, it's me who flies, solving puzzles of riddled skies.
I like the attention span to meditate, but I often journey and feel alone....
so I find peace through OM.
I tried, I sigh, no regrets, I am feeling high. I stopped retreating, brought this experience to remember believing.
I'll never abandon myself, I see souls, that is true wealth.

Sunday..no longer day of rest!

2010-01-24T00:22:00.002-05:00

Took the 10 a.m. class and I must admit it was a rough start. My mat was in front of the steam room so I didn't get to see myself in the mirror, however, the glass reflected just enough for me to see the outline of my postures. So grateful for half moon, the first set is always a challenge and then I am ready to rock- n- roll by the second set. Definitely the right posture to begin the series. My quads hurt! 24 days without a break and I am feeling it in every muscle in my body, although I am conditioned in my breath. Such a great feeling that comes over me in Savasana, especially after Camel. My body is cooled, I am dripping sweat from every orifice of my body, my breathing is normal, and my heart is beating like I just finished a 40 yard dash. Yep and I get to experience this everyday! I had my body fat percentage assessed today at the gym. 10.3 %!!! He measured 7 spots on my body with the skin fold calipers and the results were jaw dropping, he couldn't believe that all I did was yoga. HAHA so funny that I do not weight train anymore. Also had a good emotional release today! My first in MONTHS. I think yoga everyday brings a lot up and lets a lot out. Good to get it out, let it go, and move forward.

Forgot to post this one

2010-01-23T20:52:00.000-05:00

Day 22 was a good day!

2010-01-22T21:18:00.000-05:00

Do you have that "spot" in class that you like to call your own? I have noticed that I typically hang out in the same spot and I have also noticed days when it appears to be open just waiting for me to fill it. I have all this criteria; I prefer not being directly under a fluorescent light, in the middle of two mirrors, too far away from the mirror, too far away from the teacher, and of course too close to my neighbor. Sometimes I can't control these things and I think I am going to have a bad practice because my "spot" wasn't available to me. What a bad attitude to have! I didn't have a choice in class yesterday and I had a strong class :). It's good to get out of your "spot" and be forced out of your comfort zone. It's a teaching that you are not always in control and you learn to just let go.

HAHA I am laughing because I am thinking about all of these little rituals I have during the day, before class, in class, and after class. It's a little absurd to realize that my whole day is centered around yoga; what I eat, how much I hydrate, when I go to the bathroom, additional supplements. Basically my ENTIRE life is centered around practicing. I schedule work, appointments, vacations, and weekends around getting to the hot box, and I do not find anything wrong with that. Just thought I'd share. :)

Michelle insisted that instead of attacking my postures as I normally do, tonight I was to go into each posture with ease using my breath. I meditated on the spot right between my eyebrows and did not let my eyes or my energy drop. SUCCESS! My energy was pinpointed to my breath and the realization that I can make my body do anything, that my mind is bigger than anything I feel. It's like I just faded away and my body was just present doing the postures. Because I was so focused on the spot between my eyebrows, all I could see was a silhouette of myself, a blurred one at that. What an overwhelming feeling of peace that came over me in Eagle, everything in one line down the center of my body. My awareness greatly heightened now at day 22, not just in yoga but in life. Such a state of grace...

1/5 of the way!

2010-01-20T20:33:00.000-05:00

As life gets hectic and things come up, I've decided not to be too hard on myself if I am not able to blog 101 consecutive days. Challenging myself to 101 consecutive Bikram yoga classes is my main focus. The blogging is a good way to put it out there, to get feedback, to be courageous with my words. After all it is not easy to get real with yourself, it's actually quite scary! And then to post it online is even scarier. To achieve what I am looking for, however, I have to accept what was and focus on now and what is to come. I'll tell you, it's only been 20 days and so much opportunity has presented itself. I've discovered ways to create what I want and need in my life to make me happy. This is all happening just by staying focused on me and this challenge.

So..I love red wine! In fact you will NEVER see me drink any other type of alcohol (not even white). Pre yoga challenge, I could easily have a couple glasses of wine with dinner, go to work the next day, take yoga, and be fine. Now,(haha) I can't believe this, but I haven't had a glass of wine since New Year's Eve. Not that I'm opposed to it but because I am just happy living. My mind is able to have a daily mental recess in practice, my body is completely worn out, and I just simply haven't desired it! Of course I haven't put myself in a social setting since the challenge started, so that probably has something to do with it too. Bottom line is I feel completely detoxed and content.

Last night I spent a nice relaxing evening getting a pedicure and getting my hair done. After it was all over it was around 8:00 p.m. There was a time before this incredible challenge that I would have laughed off the idea of going to yoga and ruining my just styled hair and freshly painted toes. However, without even a thought I drove right to the studio for the 8:30 class. Did not even complain in my head about it, just knew it was a part of my life. Sort of like not forgetting to pick up your child from daycare (okay maybe that is not the best analogy). I was careful with my toes in practice and they looked perfect afterward! This is a true commitment! The real deal! Not sure I've ever been committed to anything else like this in my life. Well no, I take that back, committing to finishing a marathon on no sleep is up there too!

I am solid! concrete! like a lamp post! Last night's class and today's class were strong! In last night's class, I was able to hold my standing heading to knee (on both legs) to the very last count and then slowly uncurl the same way I went in to it. I love feeling the burning sensation in my glutes. Sometimes if I work through the pain so much, the second set feels like a breeze because it is half the time! Today's class I focused on my breath and was truly able to surrender. In the first backward bend, once I lock my knees so tightly, contract my quads, and press my heels to the ground, I begin to see my feet, and the pain just melts away like magic. I surrendered so much that I had to let the teacher's dialogue guide me as I didn't know which set we were in.

My chiropractor was able to attain such a deep release in my neck today! It felt euphoric! Who need drugs when there are chiropractors with magical hands!

I apologize for the run on sentences but I am too exhausted to fix my grammar at this point.

Day 18- Feel the burn

2010-01-18T21:00:00.000-05:00

Okay so I made a huge mistake and worked my legs out on Saturday night at the gym. Working part time at a platinum gym makes a good workout hard to resist. With that being said, last night's and today's classes were insanely difficult. My body felt over heated as every muscle in my body was in overdrive. Class has never felt hotter, my focus was all off because I was just trying to survive, and postures felt like they were three minutes instead of one. Hoping that tomorrow is better!

Beginning yoga challenge poses

2010-01-17T21:21:00.001-05:00

Day 16- I couldn't have said it better!

2010-01-16T22:51:00.000-05:00

DAY 16: Shine

Author: bikramyogachick /

"Who are we, not to shine?"

Nelson Mandela

Sometimes we doubt ourselves. We battle insecurities, we allow fear to creep in. Perhaps we feel inadequate on a particular day about a certain thing. Doing 101 days of yoga is a huge commitment. That's almost a third of a year. With jobs, spouses, children and all the trappings of everyday life it's no small feat. Doing something that spans a good chunk of time allows for unexpected events to sneak in there and throw a monkey wrench into our plans. We keep going. We take it one day at a time and we work around that illness, trip, power outage and just schedule a double. We don't throw in the towel. Why would we? We've only just begun! Here on day 16 we march forward, brave little yogi soldiers. We won't listen to any of our internal excuses. Those excuses are not afraid of failure, rather they are afraid of success. During our moments of doubt and fear not only in a yoga challenge but in life they shrink back not from our darkness but from our light. Sometimes we wonder, who am I to complete this yoga challenge/be successful/marry my dream spouse/acquire my dream job/move to my dream location.

Who are you NOT to do any of that?

Who are we, not to shine?

This is my life and I'm the director

2010-01-15T22:35:00.000-05:00

Day 15 and still going strong. Haven't missed one day and going on the 9th day with this awful cough. I have seen the chiropractor 3x a week since NYE and he is a miracle worker. They offer care plans which makes it doable for me. Had such a busy day today! I have such a busy weekend! Life is good! :)

Notes

2010-01-14T21:46:00.001-05:00

I have all of these extra things I do in practice. My mind is very aware of these "bad" habits, but I do them anyway just because they feel good. Here are a few..go ahead yell at me, I need to hear it!

- In eagle pose after I wrap one arm around the other, I then bend at the waist to stretch out my back before getting in the set up and straightening my back. Then, once I wrap my leg around the other, I do this little hop adjusting to make sure my foot is absolutely straight in the mirror. So bad, So bad I know!

-In standing separate leg stretching, after working my butt off in the balancing series, I take a good 15- 20 seconds and just breathe before I begin working the posture.

-I feel like I'm totally hanging out (even though I'm working it) in wind removing and fixed firm pose.

-My patience wears thin after rabbit...and so does my focus...usually my mind is on what I have to do for the rest of the night. So I've been lying when I said a full 90 min. to myself. It's usually about 80 min. truly focusing.

Hell on Earth- HAITI

2010-01-14T21:03:00.000-05:00

The Earthquake that has devastated Haiti is so heart wrenching. As I'm typing this I am watching the footage on ABC. I just donated what I could afford, $10, but every little bit helps! All you have to do is text HAITI to 90999 and a $10 donation will be taken automatically. Life is full of uncertainties and external circumstances that can not be controlled. Things can be taken away and life can change so quickly! This is such a tragedy to our human race. Haiti is one of the poorest countries in the world and they are truly living in hell on earth! Please donate what you can, please pray (I believe in the power of prayer), please dedicate a Bikram class to all who are suffering! My heart aches!

I like it! THANKS!

2010-01-14T19:01:00.002-05:00

The Invitation

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for,
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love, for your dreams,
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon.
I want to know if you have touched
the centre of your own sorrow,
if you have been opened by life's betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain,
mine or your own, without moving to hide it
or fade it or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy mine or your own.
if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy
fill you to the tips of your fingers
and toes without cautioning us
to be careful, be realistic,
remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true.
I want to know if you can disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty every day,
and if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine,
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,“Yes.”

It doesn't interest me to know where you live,
or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair,
weary and bruised to the bone,
and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what
or with whom you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself,
and if you truly like the company
you keepin the empty moments.

just be yourself.

2010-01-13T14:53:00.001-05:00

I use to think that everything on the surface defined who I was. How I looked, who I knew, my education, my accomplishments, everything that attributed to my success as an individual. These "things" defined me in social settings, work, even in my immediate family. As I reflect, I find myself always showing up, but not being fully conscious of how I was truly feeling, what I was thinking, or even what I was saying. Just going through the motions of life and doing what I needed to survive. To survive physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

I've dealt with a great deal of anxiety throughout my life. Anyone who knows me well will tell you that I've spent too much time worrying about silly things, that I am easily startled, that I have nervous habits. I'm starting to pay attention to what triggers my stress and anxieties. One thing I know for sure is that I spent so much time consumed in other people's lives that I never learned who I was. This was pulling at me for years, and part of the reason that I couldn't sleep at night and why I would have horrible nightmares. I could probably write a book on the vivid nightmares that use to haunt me. People would say to me, "you don't sleep well do you?" I would think to myself, is it really that obvious? As I am in the process of learning what makes me a valuable person, I find that most of my stress and anxieties are diminished because I am finally living my life according to me. Learning who you truly are takes a great deal of commitment and faith. It takes letting go..

Although I've done some things in my life that I am not proud of, it's important for me to just let go and appreciate myself. Funny as it may seem, between my neck problems and my suffering with anxiety, I find myself in the best shape of my life. Interesting how I just ended up here and with so much wisdom.

Just be yourself...

Off to Day...what day is it?? ahh okay..day 13. I spent the whole day resting, heading to the Dr. before class and hoping to be recovered for tomorrow! My coughing was bothersome in class last night, hoping a day of rest will improve today's experience.

Day 12 cough cough cough

2010-01-12T18:24:00.001-05:00

Lost my voice last Thursday- took class (and coughed a lot in class). Friday my voice was a little horse but much better than Thursday- took class. Rested all night Friday and woke up feeling a little run down on Saturday. Took the noon class and felt weak after class. Slept for 13 hours and started feeling better. Took the 5:00p.m. class on Sunday. Could not sleep well on Sunday night and had some mild-moderate coughing. Went to work on Monday and felt okay- took the 4 p.m. class. Coughed all night Monday night and ALL day today at work! My throat is raw. Still made it to the 4:00 p.m. class. Wondering if I should take a sick day from work tomorrow and rest? Suggestions??? Is this going to linger until I rest or should I just ride it out. The coughing is so uncomfortable. I drank about 10 cups of decaf tea with honey today. Sipping on one at the moment. Going to watch a movie and going to bed. I will check this to see what you all think before I go to bed.

Day 11 dreams can come true

2010-01-11T22:23:00.000-05:00

Colin Powell once said, "A dream doesn't become reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination and hard work." Lately, my dreams and fantasies have been far more exciting than my realities. What I've come to realize, however, is that I can make all of my dreams come true through sweat (literally), hard work, and determination. I firmly believe that as I'm on this journey to self-realization many new doors will open for me and my dreams will become my real life. I love that this challenge forces me to have 90 min. of me time. 90 min. of only worrying about the person on my mat. 90 min of conscious breathing. 90 min. of pouring sweat, which ultimately soothes the brain. 90 min of Justina falling in love with Justina in the mirror.

Day 10

2010-01-10T22:19:00.000-05:00

I spent the whole weekend sick, resting, and practicing yoga. Yesterday was the worst of it. During yoga I started to feel a fever coming on and spent the next 24 hours in bed resting. Although doubles and even triples are allowed in this challenge. My goal is to consecutively attend class for 101 days. I spent the whole day sleeping and forced myself to the 5:00 p.m. class. Thinking I was going to be in savasana for most of the class, my energy level took me by surprise. I knocked out class like a rockstar! So glad I went because I believe that I am sweating out whatever has been trying to keep me down. Between yoga and lots of rest I think I will be able to go to work tomorrow. We'll see how I feel in the morning.

Bikram Yoga May Increase Erection Size

2010-01-10T20:42:00.000-05:00

Bikram Yoga May Increase Erection Size

He is my strength!

2010-01-10T00:58:00.000-05:00

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. II Corinthians 12:9-10

I love this song!

2010-01-09T16:05:00.002-05:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7l74d1fmZbw&feature=player_embedded

Day 9- Let go and surrender

2010-01-09T15:52:00.003-05:00

The main reason that I decided to start blogging was to put it out in the universe. It's a way to connect my practice and my experience to all of you. I fear that I probably would have psyched myself out at this point if it weren't for blogging. I tried a 30 day challenge about a year ago and only made it to day 11 because my mind wasn't in the right place. Now as we are all joined here in this cyberspace community I feel that all of you can truly empathize with me. You all understand how amazing and transformed I feel in my mind and my body.

This is a perfect time for me! There are no other distractions in my life. I do not have children, I have my health, and I am single for the first time in my adult life *big exhale*. This is the first time I am living for myself and doing what I want to do. And it is perfect timing!

A challenge like this is just what I need to keep me headed in a positive direction. Life has it's rhythms, I know everything that has happened up to the point is part of my growth and success as an individual. There are things I could dwell on and stay angry at myself for, but it's so much easier to let them go. Letting go of all the negatives in my life to find peace from within. Accepting myself for all the good and bad decisions I have made and learning from each experience. Learning that all of my trials and tribulation have made me the strong person I am today! Knowing that I can move forward and not let my past experiences be a part of who I am. I have found peace through prayer, strength in practice, quiet through meditation, excitement in reading, and I'm reminded how much love I have for myself just by being alone. My heart pours out so much love to all of those who know me and as I continue to give, one day I will learn to receive true love. In the meantime the love that I have for myself is all that I need to wake up each day, to live my life, to breath...

Speaking of breathing, I had a hard time with that in class today. Still feeling run down and if it weren't for this challenge you better believe I would not have practiced today! I was feeling weak by the time I got to the floor postures. The pressure of the weight on my chest made it difficult to inhale and caused me to cough a lot. Spent some time in the steam room after class to open my lungs, and I am feeling better for now. Hopefully tomorrows class will flush everything out before the new week begins.

Thanks for the positive feedback!

Me and Bikram

2010-01-09T00:20:00.000-05:00

This is where I'm headed...teacher training..hoping for fall 2010

2010-01-09T00:18:00.000-05:00

http://www.vimeo.com/1300360

Day 8

2010-01-09T00:00:00.002-05:00

Well I (we) made it over the 1st week hump. Whoohoo! Great job 101 yogis! It's amazing how quickly I've trained my mind not to allow excuses to creep in. Even with a sore throat, a cough, and loosing my voice, I never once thought about missing class. Everyday I leave work and drive straight to the studio and before I know it I am in kalabati breathing. On the weekends I plan to attend the early classes to give my body a jolt. As I mentioned previously, I am not as open in the earlier classes so it's a greater challenge.

Full of pure energy! Feel blessed that I get to share my wealth with all of my students at school (for those of you who read this and do not know me, I am an elementary P.E. teacher and we are currently on a yoga unit). They reward me with positive feedback and the warmest most sincere hugs. Which tells me what I'm teaching them makes them feel good and feel happy. They feel my presence, my peace, and my passion. They have been amazingly receptive and open! Not once have I had a negative undertone in my words and in return I have the best little yoginis! Imagine 45 six year old students in child pose, completely still, just breathing. SO AWESOME!

I had a strong class tonight. My biggest frustration is Poorna - Salabhasana (Full Locust)! Once I start coming all the way back, my legs start coming down. Is form before depth most important? If I go all the way back, the teachers tell me to get my legs up, which causes my chest to go down. Now I can hold a nice even posture, but then it feels as though I am not working to my maximum potential. I guess I just have to practice squeezing my thighs and keeping my legs lifted as I come up and go back. But it's so hard!

Thoughts?????

As I am spending a lot of time reflecting, I realize most of the people I use to surround myself with will never leave Copacabana, why does this saddened me so much? I have let go of most of the friendships that do not nourish me, however, when you form attachments to people it's hard to stop caring. This is a blog from my friends mother that I enjoyed...

Well, it’s already day #6 in 2010 and I’ve been thinking of this post. What will 2010 bring in terms of new encounters, the forging new friendships, renewing with old friends and acquaintances or will we take stock of who is in our various circles and maintain relationships that nourish us, distance ourselves from those who can potentially drain us and cut those that are toxic to us? Maybe it’ll be a little bit of all of the above but one thing I am personally sure of is that, as I look out the window in this glorious New England winter morning, pure blue skies, sun reflecting off the new snow, I will strive to keep those relationships that feed my soul, warm my heart and keep me going each and everyday, allowing me to keep a positive outlook on life in spite of the craziness that goes on in our world. Staying centered and focused on what is important is key. So to all out there in the websphere, I wish you a very Peaceful, Joyful, Healthy and Happy New Year!

Day 7

2010-01-07T23:01:00.002-05:00

One week down! My comments are now open! Thanks so much Juliana for reaching out to me! I don't like the template as much but in order to keep my last one I would have had to delete and re add a bunch of stuff and it's not worth my time, so this one will have to do :) Please keep the comments coming...I'm 2 weeks behind! I lost my voice this morning, it was quite a day teaching 10 classes with no voice, but the kids were great!

Bikram yoga was good until I had my coughing spells in class. Determined to finished class, I stayed in the room and probably annoyed the hell out of my neighbors, but hopefully my coughing didn't steal their peace or concentration. This is a discipline after all. Doesn't Bikram say something about buildings falling down and being able to stay in standing bow?

Sorry about the cough folks! Must rest my voice and my body. I've been horrible about blogging this week. There is so much that I intend on discussing pertaining to my postures but do not have the energy to write about it at the moment. There is plenty of time though..94 days of blogging, locking the knee, opening up like a flower petal blooming, flying high like a 747 taking off, concrete like a lamp post..unbroken, bouncing like a bumpy motorcycle ride!

LIFE IS WONDERFUL!!!!!! :)

2010-01-07T20:33:00.002-05:00

http://www.vimeo.com/3370375

comments

2010-01-07T18:47:00.000-05:00

I do not know how to open my comment link for people to post comments. I have played with it and can't figure it out. If you are a blogger and are reading this and can help me, please email me at justina0422@yahoo.com. Thanks for the help! I've already had 250 views in 2 weeks, so I could use words of encouragement or positive feedback especially further into the challenge!

Day 6 2010

2010-01-06T23:01:00.000-05:00

Needed class today! I've been fighting a little cough. Must have picked it up from the kiddies at school. Hoping that detoxing everyday will keep me from getting sick again. Albeit my throat is now sore, so I'm going to take some medicine and head to bed.

Namaste

Baby it's cold outside.

2010-01-05T21:45:00.010-05:00

My favorite part about this challenge is enjoying the hot room during these cold winter days! Northern Virginia has had frigid temps with blustery winds. Making it entirely unbearable to do any outdoor activity. Sunday night they featured Bikram Alexandria on the news as an activity people are attracted to because it's so cold out. How wonderful! I love it! I love Jim!

Felt like a Rockstar in practice today! Full expressions included; standing head to knee, standing bow, and camel. In standing head to knee, the biggest challenge is keeping the Bikram grip for the full minute. By the time we arrive to that posture, sweat is pouring off of me and it is slippery. But what is difficult is when I start to bring my elbows down and my toes back, my thumbs unlock. I know I'm receiving all of the benefits of the posture as the whole time I am working on keeping both knees locked. It just frustrates me when I lose the grip!

lock the knee, lock the knee, lock the knee...

don't lose the grip...Ahhhh! (isn't that a metaphor for life).

On to a positive note. My teacher last night took pictures of my standing bow because I was convinced that I wasn't kicking all of the way back. When I saw myself to the side in the camera, I had a deer in the head lights look. I didn't realize I was doing splits, it certainly does not feel like I am as straight as I am. I'm still waiting for him to send the pictures so I can post. Excited to retake pictures at the end of the challenge!

So it's day 5 and I have so much energy. Sunday night I only had 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Too much on my mind and the anticipation of going back to work left me restless. I feared when Monday morning came around that I would crash by the afternoon. Turns out my energy level peaked mid day and after teaching all day I had an amazing practice. Managed to sleep for 6 hours last night. Although that doesn't seem like enough sleep, I will take what I can get. Today I was full of energy, felt refreshed, and had such a strong class. Even thinking to myself at the end...what an easy class!

Kid yoga

2010-01-04T23:20:00.005-05:00

Today was my first day back to work after a long 16 day vacation. It was easier than I anticipated to get back in the swing of things. This morning was very cold but I enjoyed greeting and welcoming the children back. I was hesitant about teaching kids yoga. Not sure how receptive they would be to a "new" form of exercise. When I asked, "who can tell me what yoga is?" One of my students replied, "It's something that moms do." Trust me I wanted to start laughing at the pure honesty of her answer. Instead, I kept my composure and explained yoga and that everybody at any age can practice. My lessons were kid friendly and their creative imaginations made it so much easier. Surprisingly, they absolutely loved it! I loved it too! Observing children grow confidence and awareness through body movements is exceedingly gratifying . I taught ten classes and the day flew by as I was in the zone.

It's funny because the only yoga I know is Bikram yoga. Once I started practicing I knew there wasn't any other type of yoga that could offer me what Bikram does. So I haven't spent a lot of time learning all of the hatha yoga postures. I had to teach myself other yoga postures, ones that would interest kids with names that represent the pose. I try to get them to think about what the postures mean, to become like the postures- strong and sturdy like a tree! Children are under a lot of stress like adults! They have the pressures of school, homework, after-school activities, home life - it all adds up! Yoga is a way to help them relax and let go of their stressors. They may not fully understand how or why, but you should have heard their breath in our deep breathing exercises. Taking deep breaths really did make them happier and each child left my class glowing today! Hooray!

My dream is to become a certified Bikram yoga teacher and own my studio one day. How great would it be if I had another studio separate from Bikram yoga where I also taught kids yoga. I really need children in my life, and I think they need me too! I couldn't imagine another career that didn't involve them. Children bring me so much joy, as I truly am a child at heart. And I love that for the next two weeks I am able to combine my two greatest passions - children and yoga! Life couldn't be better!

Okay enough rambling! Today was day 4 of the challenge! LOOKING GOOD, FEELING GOOD, OORAH! I'm getting stronger by the day! Will post pictures soon! It's late, more yoga talk tomorrow.

Congrats to all who are along for the ride!!!! It only takes 6 weeks to form a new habit!

There is an eyelash on my ankle! DAY 3

2010-01-03T16:37:00.000-05:00

Only in Bikram yoga will you ever find an eyelash hanging out on your ankle. As I'm bending forward in hands to feet pose, I observe my eyelash. I wonder how it landed there and how long I'm going to allow it to stay. Trying to fight the urge to wipe it, I quickly remove it before setting up my posture. Ahh.. now I can focus on pulling without any distractions. But when is the day going to arrive when I do not notice nor do I care if there is an eyelash on my ankle?

Hell is what I experienced in the noon class. It felt as if I were being choked due to the extremely high temperature. The thermometer read 120 degrees and there were about 30 people in class which made for a HOT class. I tried not to think about the heat and focused on letting my mind go and my body do the work. By the time we arrived to triangle I wasn't sure if I could make it through the second posture. Right before I was going to opt out of 2nd triangle, the teacher said, "Second set, do it without a thought, let me be your mind." I survived! Although I did not feel much reprieve from the heat.

My body is acclimated to taking the 4 p.m. class. I love this time because I've been awake for several hours warming my muscles. I usually eat a few meals and spend the day hydrating which makes for a great class! So it took a little longer today to warm my body and get into the flow of practice.

I am spending the rest of the afternoon watching football and planning my lessons for school. Tomorrow is the first day back after a long 16 day break. The first two weeks of the new year will begin with yoga. It will definitely be a challenge teaching kids yoga! Teaching and demonstrating 10 classes each day will prepare my body for some great afternoon yoga! Looking forward to it!

Day 2

2010-01-02T22:29:00.016-05:00

99 to go...

Perhaps the toughest part of class for me is looking into my eyes. Often I look at my feet before a posture begins and then my focus inches up to my belly button. It's difficult to meet my eyes in the mirror and make a connection for a full minute. I secretly favor the postures that allow me to focus on my locked knee, look to my belly, or up to the ceiling, as those postures do not require tremendous focus IN THE MIRROR. "Smile with your eyes," a teacher tells me. So I practice smiling with my eyes, and naturally I smile.

Bikram yoga is a moving meditation. The meditation is getting easier, today I was fully connected with my breath and mindful of the natural rhythm of the breath. Some days my mind is easily distracted if my towel is uneven or if I have a hair on me. And some days it can be preoccupied with affairs in my life. I am learning to acknowledge these thoughts and then release them immediately. The 90 minutes that I spend in class each day are MY 90 minutes. No other thought or distraction can get in the way! When I consciously practice this, I leave class feeling happy and free. Today was one of those classes!

I had the most AMAZING adjustment before class with my AMAZING new chiropractors. They understand what a great deal of pain I'm in and opened their office to me on a Saturday! They are a husband and wife dynamic duo. She is the yin, he is the yang, together complimentary opposites with a greater whole. She has healing hands and was able to achieve a state of relaxation in me as she channeled the pulses up my spine. This made his adjusting so much easier.

They give me hope! I learned today that my neck is curved 60 degrees in the opposite direction. Imagine a backwards C with a circle on top. The illustration would represent the head and neck. The backwards C is the type of curve a neck should have. My neck is a forward C and 12 degrees (after today) forward from a straight line (180 degrees). Once I get my neck to a straight line, I will need to be adjusted 48 degrees more to create the natural curve one is suppose to have in their neck. Since my first visit on new years eve, my neck has already moved 6 degrees ( I think I have this right).He believes that in order for my neck to truly heal, he must fix my lower back. All problems within the body begin from the ground and go up.

I thank my wonderful Bikram yoga teacher Michelle for introducing me to PALMERCARE chiropractic. Michelle is also creating a meditation practice for me specific to what I need in my life. As I practice Kundilini- the energy flow through the chakra system, I hope to activate mental enlightenment.

~Namaste~

It's a bittersweet symphony...this life!

2010-01-02T00:05:00.003-05:00

That's right, bittersweet! My running career is over, forever! You see the discs in between the vertebrae act as shock absorbers in the body. When discs degenerate, like mine, running causes bone to bone and bone to nerve contact because the discs aren't there to absorb the shock. The chiropractor told me yesterday that I absolutely cannot run and if I do I am only advancing the degeneration. His words transmitted to me when he spoke them. Finally someone gets through to me! Fortunately, I have discovered a form of exercise that works for my body and that I enjoy just the same, if not more. However, I will miss the comradery of Pacers running group and race days. It's so important that I take care of my spine, as the option of getting another is impossible. :) I did get the okay to go ahead with the challenge but to take it easy and listen to my body. After an amazing adjustment and a home massage, I felt relief heading into the new year!

DAY 1..
Jan. 1st 2010! HOORAY to the new year, an untouched year, full of fresh beginnings and many new goals! I appreciate this challenge starting on the first day of the year, it sets the pace for the rest of the year! I took the 4 p.m. class. Class was hot and there were a lot of people, which made it feel hotter. I approached each posture with full awareness and was careful not to overextend. My mind was scattered, many thoughts were on the commitment that was ahead of me. Realizing that I need to take each day as it comes. 1 down. 100 more to go!

2009-12-31T00:40:00.005-05:00

If you have a minute read this article!!!!! And if you have 90 minutes please take class! Really..it's only 90 min. of your 24 hour day! Please don't waste time..it is so precious! You life is precious! :)

http://www.oprah.com/article/omagazine/201001-omag-paige-williams

Contact Women for Women International

2009-12-30T13:02:00.000-05:00

Contact Women for Women International

Power - Balance

2009-12-29T20:27:00.002-05:00

It could possibly be the placebo effect! The man selling me the bracelet believed it was real, so in turn I believed in it also! I was passing several vendors when this confident man was demonstrating to a passerby the effect a tiny plastic bracelet had. Curious, I walked up to him and asked him to demonstrate on me. He said, "put your arms up and when I push down, resist me until you lose your balance." I quickly fell over. Then he handed me the bracelet. "Now do the same while holding this bracelet." This time he used more strength to try and break me but I was actually stronger and did not fall.

The placebo effect occurs when both parties have faith in a product, medication, belief, etc. I probably fell for some hoax when I spent $25 on a power-balance bracelet. But it doesn't matter because I know it works! Even if it is only psychological. The bracelet uses holograms to react with your body's energy field to improve energy flow and ultimately balance, strength, and flexibility.

I found it today! That is why I am so excited to write about it! The bag I carry to work needed to be cleaned out and there it lay at the bottom. Must have taken it off and put it in there over a month ago.

So I wore it in class and had an amazing practice. Postures were executed well, but what I had today was stillness. Stillness in my mind. Breath in between postures. My mind tends to be frantic, so I compensate by attacking my poses like a warrior. Today I felt a mind-body connection and enjoyed calm. I even smiled at myself in the mirror :)

Sciatica

2009-12-28T21:58:00.001-05:00

So for the past 2 1/2 years I've noticed that I have nagging lower back pain. It seems I do not mention it as often, as my neck takes precedence to my pain. However, it is there and I find myself doing forward bends frequently throughout the day. About two weeks ago everything changed when I noticed an intense pain shooting down the back of my right leg clear to my foot. Standing separate leg stretching seemed to trigger it and the pain advanced immensely by tree pose. Bending my right knee and keeping it in line with my left was nearly impossible because of this unrecognizable throbbing sensation. I continued through the rest of class with a great deal of awareness and care. When I discussed my ailment with the teacher, she told me it was undoubtedly sciatica and that stretching was the best thing for it.

Convinced that I had caused sciatica by going too deep into my postures, I decided to do my own research. Generally there are 6 main causes of sciatica and the only logical one for me is trauma in my lumbar spine. What I didn't know is that sciatica can lay dormant for some time and can be triggered by overexertion of the back. It turns out the yoga didn't cause sciatica after all!

About 3 weeks after I started practicing, I remember trying one of those inversion tables at the healthy back store. An inversion table is a device in which you secure yourself. As you lift your arm backwards the table slowly begins to tilt, ultimately stretching your spine. Fearful of trying it, I believe that my body was very tense and I remember feeling something slide in my lower back. Every day I think about this and have yet to do something about it.

That is, however, until now! It has been almost 2 weeks and the pain does not appear to be subsiding. Every time I am in tree pose and forward stretching I want to cry! As I sit here and type this, all of my pain is in my lower back and I feel referral pain in my right foot. I am calling the chiropractor in the morning!

Despite having sciatica, I feel today's class was strong and I'm satisfied. My standing bow is getting better by the day. I force my body to remember exactly how to kick straight back behind me and try not to let my leg go to the side, while keeping an arch in my entire spine. I need to have someone take a picture from the side so I can see what I look like. It's nearly impossible to lose focus in this posture, so looking in the side mirror isn't an option. Standing bow is considered to be the most graceful posture and certainly is the one I look forward to the most. It is an endurance pose. As you kick your leg back using your quadriceps, you are stretching the opposite arm, chest down, with equal force to the mirror. "Pulling is the object of stretching." A minute can feel like an eternity, but I love to feel my heart race and free my mind of all other thoughts.

Avatar is synergetic

2009-12-27T00:10:00.000-05:00

Traveling to Pittsburgh to attend an ASA (Alpha Sigma Alpha) reunion was my original plan tonight. As much as I would have liked to reconnect with some fantastic people from school, I decided it is important that I stay focused on my new year/new me goal. So instead, I went with my friend Jameliah to Reggie's holiday party. Reggie is a Bikram yoga instructor in Reston and most every attendee had the same passion for yoga as I did. VERY COOL!

A hot topic tonight was Avatar and how amazing the experience was for the ones who saw it. Avatar is a visual delight but what I really enjoyed was the "prana" life force and synergy portrayed in the movie. I cannot wait to see it again in IMAX 3D!

Yoga was tough tonight; a lot of emotions surfaced and I felt as if I was going to burst into tears. I was also dealing with shoulder/neck pain and I had too much turkey and stuffing before class. It's only 90 min. worth of suffering, far better than years of pain. Suck it up and quit complaining Justina!

Please forgive my writing, I haven't enrolled in a grad level class in almost two years. It is somewhat atrocious in my opinion. I anticipate that my writing and vocabulary will improve as I continue writing blogs.

Introduction

2009-12-25T22:37:00.001-05:00

Bikram yoga is a 90-minute series of 26 postures, practiced in a room heated to 105 degrees. It requires tremendous discipline as it is both physically and mentally demanding. The series begins and ends with a breathing exercise and includes forward bends, back bends, and twists. Heating the room allows you to stretch deeper and safer into a yoga pose. It also helps in reducing the risk of injury and promotes sweating, which can help you release toxins from your body. Practicing regularly reveals a sense of self-awareness and awakens your consciousness. The goal is to create a union between mind, body, and spirit.

I've been practicing since July 07' when I joined Bikram Yoga Ashburn just weeks after the grand opening. Before then my workouts included lifting, cycling, and running, all of which left me in a great deal of pain. I felt AMAZING after my first class and it quickly became a huge part of my life.

A little history...

When I was about 7, I was hanging upside down on acrobat rings when both of the rings snapped. Falling extremely hard on my neck resulted in debilitation for weeks and although I had a full recovery, I believe my neck never grew in proper alignment.

I live with constant pain...

In June 2004 I was stopped in traffic and the driver behind me was not paying attention and hit me with a speed of 60 m.p.h. I didn't realize the extent of the injury until a few months later when my neck spasmed and I couldn't lift my head to get out of bed. I believe that I suffered trauma to the old injury.

Since then I've been to several spine doctors and chiropractors. The diagnosis: degenerative discs, bulging dics, disc herniation at c5 & c6, and spinal stenosis, with a greater risk of pinching my spinal cord. The medical and alternative doctors both told me that I should not participate in high-risk sports such as skiing, and that running would only be more harmful than good. Since then I've skied double black diamonds and run four marathons.

Should I really be a prisoner to my own body? My thought process pertaining to extreme sports: anyone (good neck/bad neck) is at risk for spinal cord injury. The running, however, is excessively hard on my body, particularly my neck. Imagine that!

I received two opinions from the top spine doctors in Northern VA. Both concluded that I needed to proceed with surgery. Surgery meant fusing my spine and limiting my range of motion - not to mention a large scar in the front of my neck! I scheduled my surgery but did not follow through with the appointment.

Everyone was telling me not to have the surgery. They would say, "keep practicing yoga, it will heal you." At that time my judgment was clouded from consuming prescribed pain killers and muscle relaxers. Taking them every day to function normally and be at ease with the pain. I began to think about the long-term effects the medications were having on my liver. I did not want to live as I had been any longer.

Two weeks before my surgery, I met Esak. Esak is a Bikram Yoga champion who seemed to be the only one who could make sense out of it for me. He strongly discouraged me from having the surgery. I listened. He told me that in order to stay pain free, I must stay mobile. "Practice as much as possible, as often as possible!" He is right - when I practice everyday my pain lessens and I attain deep releases. Although, as we all know, life can get in the way sometimes and can deter us from achieving our goals.

I am transforming...

Bikram Yoga may be physically demanding. However, for me, the mental aspect is more of the challenge. Just getting to the studio can be an accomplishment in itself sometimes. Excuses are easy to find; not hydrating enough or eating too soon before class, feeling tired, having aches and pains, stress, personal affairs, and family matters are some of the things that have kept me out of class.

NO MORE EXCUSES...

This is a time in my life where all of my focus will be on me. I have started by eliminating toxic people and becoming more efficient at attracting positives. As I move forward, I will focus on my desires and what I truly deserve in life. I intend to transform my mind and body through this yoga challenge!

2009-12-25T21:42:00.000-05:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wnzlewsTpKE

2009-12-25T20:50:00.001-05:00

Rockstar

2009-12-25T12:34:00.000-05:00

Okay, so the name Bikram Yoga Rockstar does have some significance to me. Back in 2007 before my 2nd Marine Corps Marathon, I attended the running expo and bought a headband from one the vendors with the word ROCKSTAR plastered on it. The idea of wearing such a thing occurred to me when I ran my first marathon. The spectators cheered loudly for the runners who creatively represented themselves to the crowd. I believe I ran next to Bob and Superman for most of that race and "Rockstar" seemed fitting because I felt anyone who could run 26.2 miles earned the title "Rockstar." Needless to say, I had a much better run that year and knocked 15 min. off my previous time.

After the race, the headband progressed into the yoga studio. I suspect some didn't even know my name for a while because after each class the same group of ladies would say to me, "great job today Rockstar!" It's something that has stuck and now I have a blogger title that I prize.

Christmas

2009-12-25T01:03:00.000-05:00

It's Christmas! It's Christmas and the only thing on my mind is Bikram yoga and how soon until I practice again. I've decided to ring in the new year with a challenge beyond what my mind can conceptualize. My goal...101 Bikram yoga classes in 101 consecutive days! Now for the next week I will prepare myself for the journey to self-realization. Not to say that the journey will be complete at the end of my challenge, as Bikram says,

"Your journey to Self-Realization will be a long one; it's not an overnight thing, like they Fed-Ex it to you or something."

I love that! And it's so true - discovering who you are is not a quick thing. This is something that will take time. For me this challenge will be the beginning of a lifelong journey and indeed be a very humbling experience.

~Namaste